Keep ’em Sharp

Would you rather have

  • Vampire Teeth
  • Bear Claws

Special Thanks

My favorite little 9 year old came up with this week’s question. Also, I’m so durn sorry for how late I sent this week’s newsletter.


Some of our favorite responses

Vampire Teeth

Having vampire teeth would be great when you need to open bags, and you don't have a knife or scissors. You can just use your teeth to tear the bags open. It also gives you part of a Halloween costume you can use every year. Plus I'd love to just walk around saying "I vant to suck your blood" to people.

Bear claws seem to be more of an inconvenience because you don't have opposable thumbs. So while they can be strong and sharp, they are useless for most human tasks.
I feel like with bear claws I’d destroy a lot of laptops/keyboards. They’re a major part of how I make my money, and I like money. So I’d rather have the teeth!
Wait, you're saying you don't already have sharp, fang-like teeth? The better to eat jerky with.

Bear Claws

Because not twilight
Really good grip for climbing things
Because then I could eat a bear claw with bear claws.